I am selling part of my wardrobe here, and you could be the lucky buyer, if you play your cards right.
The clothes listed for sale are totally rad and guaranteed to win you friends and influence people. What more motivation do you need?
How about this: Your support will go towards making a hungry child (me) happy! And I'm hungry now, so start spending. I accept cash delivered by your friend Vinnie, IOUs, baked goods, and PayPal.
1. New Mexico Moon People Jean Jacket, $6
This is a size large Levi Strauss jacket that a kid eager to be cool decorated the hell out of in 1985. It made its way to my closet in 2011, and maybe it'll make its way to yours before 2012? The last time I wore this jacket was on Halloween, and I got asked to a football game by a high school boy in a "Sexy Raggedy Ann" costume. Even if that's stretching the truth a little, you're sure to score with this jacket, one way or another!
2. Pumpkin Galore Chiffon Dress, $10
Orange you glad this baby's for sale? You bet your life! This happy little pumpkin has a retro '60s look to it, along with unforgettable features like these chiffon "batwings" that won't fail to amuse you (see picture). Tag says medium, but it's a bit roomy on me - so plan accordingly, all you Ms. Mediums! Whether you choose to be a weirdo like me and wear this dress with clashing green gloves and a hat made from an avocado net is totally up to you - I certainly won't judge you.
Old lady or hipster? Don't worry, this sweatshirt will make the decision for you! Be the nerdy star of your own life (if your life were Welcome To The Dollhouse) with this comfy cotton pullover. Comes with a fake collar and a mockingbird/flower motif. Junior high angst not included.
4. Swedish As Fuck Mustard Yellow Cardigan, $12
That's right, S.A.F! This is an H&M cardigan that I purchased in San Francisco because I was cold in the summer once upon a time, and now I'm over it. But I hope you're into it! It's an angora button-up cardie with a tie waist. It's pretty darn sassy.
5. Math Is My Jam Sailor Sweater, $7
This darlin' little polyester number here is all decked out with navy blue stripes and gold buttons. Guess you could call it sailor-themed, but it also reminds me of graph paper. One button is missing, but little flaws just give a good-girl sweater like this one some street cred!
This is a strapless burgundy wallpaper-patterned dress with a black tulle skirt. Comes with its own matching belt, which is so 2006, but just think - in another, like, ten years this will be a vintage item, and you'll be kicking yourself for not owning it (and so will I!) I think this was my homecoming dress, in which case I probably spent most of my time in this dress requesting music that no one wants to hear at a high school dance (like Zlad), hiding in the bathroom with my fellow coterie of troublemakers, and drawing penises in the sparkly confetti. Win-nerrr.
This isn't a Sonic Youth "Kool Thing." But it's cool, yeah? Sigh. How do I justify owning this dress? It has a turtleneck collar and a bubble hem. Maybe there are times when a girl wants to keep her upper half warm while showing off her legs, okay? If you feel the same way, then you should go for this snuggly black dress. All the prom-age boys will be all up on. I swear I'm not advocating anything untoward here. Go fer eeet!
8. Modesty Is Okay Floral Skirt, $8 [RESERVED]
Remember in the '80s when girls used to wear long skirts with baggy sweaters on top? Even if you don't remember this, it happened. Featured here is a Ralph Lauren floral skirt, size 4. I like to pretend it fits but sometimes I'll, say, eat a burrito while I'm wearing it, and it's like God reminding me ... I don't know, not to eat the burrito? Anyways, this skirt is super cute and looks good with anything from a lingerie top to a baggy sweater!
9. Alpha Female Acid Wash Jean Skirt, $7 [RESERVED]
Hey there alpha females, this is your must-have: a gorgeous acid wash jean skirt. It's a size 12. Now, I know sizes don't mean anything because they vary with the brand and have changed throughout the decades thanks to vanity sizing. But! Long story short, this little cutie is a bit too loosey goosey on me. I bought it in the hopes of using DIY remedies to shrink it so's it would adhere to my waist. Well, my friends, when it comes to DIY desperation, there is no smell quite like boiled denim on the stovetop in the morning. In other news, this skirt is yours for seven (count 'em) one dollar bills.
I apologize for the lack of photo quality! If you've any questions and/or are interested in purchasing any of these fine threads, you can leave a comment on this post or contact me at thatdressisntpretty [at] gmail [dot] com.
Would you ship the SAFMYC to New Zealand? Alllllso what is the bust measurement of the orange 60s dress? I am a size medium, but cursed with ginormous breasts.
ReplyDeleteHi! Yes, I can ship to New Zealand (oooh, fun!) -- the total cost will include the shipping fee, of course. As for the orange dress: bust measurement is 86.5 cm. I'm a small girl up top and to me there seems like plenty extra room in the bodice, but the fabric doesn't really give a whole lot. Anyways, enough boob tawk. Let me know if you're still interested!
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